That’s just bad for a human being. We are by nature a social creature. We will take up with the worst sort of crowd if we think they are the only ones who will takes us in. I know. I’ve sat at millionaires tables and I’ve sat on a ragged couch in a dank garage where a druggie lived and a lot of time druggies and other low lifes are more compassionate. They know what it’s like to get kicked in the face by life forty or fifty times. I honestly didn’t know if I had a place in the world until I was in my early 20’s.It was during my first vision quest. I was doing it in some swampy woods in the fall near a river. I was nude with just a blanket, my k-bar knife and a gallon of water. I was in the middle of a large bush so humans wouldn’t find me. It was a time of fasting and prayer. A time of closing in on oneself and shutting down the chattering monkey mind while becoming ever more aware of the world around you. If you were lucky you would slip into the land of the spirit and they would. What good would it do? How can one get justice? How can one flush your mind of such things? How can one do one damn thing but live with what your dealt the hand of life in? They are all now dead and buried!See what happens when you start diggin’ up bones! Leave the damn things alone!Now Patti wasn’t in any way shape or form trying to do anything except help me with my horrid past of all that.She was merely bringing all this up so I knew that she knew every damn bit of it, and together we had to free ourselves of all it.That was her main point of it all was that she and I had to somehow free ourselves of it all.Standing there as she was and telling me all this had me about to have a major breakdown and become totally mentally inept.But that wasn’t her point at all either. She just merely was pointing out everything and bringing it to light so that then she and I alike could bust me free of the chains that had me bound! The mental blockage I put that wall up against! True outright.
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